I suck at Mario Kart

So I dug up my Nintendo 64 earlier this evening, and let's just say that my pride would have rather stood pat with just the XBOX out. I'm a resident assistant for one of the dorms on campus this summer, and we're gonna run a Mario Kart program this evening. 

Now, I know someone might be thinking how someone who owns Mario Kart could be just that bad at this video game. I don't even get it either. I completely understand exactly how Duke felt in the 1990 NCAA Title game. I've worked with Ball State for three single-digit-wins basketball season, and never lost this bad before. I finished 8th almost every race, not only that either. We went in battle mode, and I lost all three balloons on three straight bananas that I threw out. How embarrassing is that?